"Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh, it's taken so long
I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh, but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair"
I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh, but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair"
In Repair -John Mayer
This post came to me as I was sitting on a park bench with Spike! Yes, he loves to take breaks on our walks and sit on the benches and watch the cars drive by and people walk by (hoping they pet him).
For the most part, I know my post have been very enlightening to some and at the same time a very dark look into my psyche. I have also spent a good amount of time on the importance of not being ashamed to seek help as 1 in 5 people will deal with a mental disorder at some point in their life.
Now, I want to start with some of things (somewhat more positive side of this) I am doing to help me get a better handle on my Persistent Depressive Disorder. These things, I will discuss from time to time, are in addition to my therapy and medication.
First....what to do about the race season?
This post came to me as I was sitting on a park bench with Spike! Yes, he loves to take breaks on our walks and sit on the benches and watch the cars drive by and people walk by (hoping they pet him).
For the most part, I know my post have been very enlightening to some and at the same time a very dark look into my psyche. I have also spent a good amount of time on the importance of not being ashamed to seek help as 1 in 5 people will deal with a mental disorder at some point in their life.
Now, I want to start with some of things (somewhat more positive side of this) I am doing to help me get a better handle on my Persistent Depressive Disorder. These things, I will discuss from time to time, are in addition to my therapy and medication.
First....what to do about the race season?
Recently, I scrapped my entire race season. I threw all my goals and my potential race schedule out the window. Trust me., this was not the easiest decision to make but I know it is the smartest decision. Without rehashing the reason I mentioned in a previous post, I decided a bigger goal than qualifying for Ironman 70.3 World Championships was to get to a point where I can be satisfied with my results.
Now, how do I do that? Is it possible? We will soon find out.........
My focus for this season is to race when I feel mentally ready (physically ready is rarely an issue). And when I race, I am sticking with more low profile races.
Why lower profile races? When I say lower profile, let's first say, I mean races where a qualifying spot for a major championships is not at stake. These smaller races will allow me to set goals that I have more control over during a race. My goals will be more focused on times versus overall placement. The purpose of is to help myself to learn to focus more on the process of race day versus the outcome of race day, which focusing on the outcome has not been very successful for me. I guess the idea is that if the process goes as planned then I could be satisfied with my result, which oddly enough is what I tell my own athletes.
The funny thing is...... I have always enjoyed the process leading up to race day. Training has always brought some satisfaction to me and kept me motivated. It has also served as my escapes from reality when reality became to overwhelming.
I believe, my enjoyment of the process is the main reason I find satisfaction in being a coach. There is a distinct satisfaction in coaching others to achieve their goals in triathlons and running, Maybe in some way, while coaching them I could learn a few things at the same time. It is kind of strange when I can be happy when one of my athletes achieve their goals but I can't be satisfied with my results.
So far this season I have raced twice. I mentioned Rev 3 Quassy Olympic Distance several weeks ago but since I did race the Millheim Sprint Triathlon, which I won for the second year in a row. Did the new focus work? Just a tad and for a short time, so I guess that so that is a start but I was satisfied with the free beer I got as a prize from the Elk Creek Brewery, who sponsors the race.
I am not sure when the next race will be (I have a couple in mind) but I am going to focus on my coaching and helping others achieve their goals!
And of course......spend a lot of time sitting on benches with Spike!
"I'm in repair
I'm not together, but I'm getting there"
#StopTheStigma #ImFineSaveMe
Now, how do I do that? Is it possible? We will soon find out.........
My focus for this season is to race when I feel mentally ready (physically ready is rarely an issue). And when I race, I am sticking with more low profile races.
Why lower profile races? When I say lower profile, let's first say, I mean races where a qualifying spot for a major championships is not at stake. These smaller races will allow me to set goals that I have more control over during a race. My goals will be more focused on times versus overall placement. The purpose of is to help myself to learn to focus more on the process of race day versus the outcome of race day, which focusing on the outcome has not been very successful for me. I guess the idea is that if the process goes as planned then I could be satisfied with my result, which oddly enough is what I tell my own athletes.
The funny thing is...... I have always enjoyed the process leading up to race day. Training has always brought some satisfaction to me and kept me motivated. It has also served as my escapes from reality when reality became to overwhelming.
I believe, my enjoyment of the process is the main reason I find satisfaction in being a coach. There is a distinct satisfaction in coaching others to achieve their goals in triathlons and running, Maybe in some way, while coaching them I could learn a few things at the same time. It is kind of strange when I can be happy when one of my athletes achieve their goals but I can't be satisfied with my results.
So far this season I have raced twice. I mentioned Rev 3 Quassy Olympic Distance several weeks ago but since I did race the Millheim Sprint Triathlon, which I won for the second year in a row. Did the new focus work? Just a tad and for a short time, so I guess that so that is a start but I was satisfied with the free beer I got as a prize from the Elk Creek Brewery, who sponsors the race.
I am not sure when the next race will be (I have a couple in mind) but I am going to focus on my coaching and helping others achieve their goals!
And of course......spend a lot of time sitting on benches with Spike!
"I'm in repair
I'm not together, but I'm getting there"
#StopTheStigma #ImFineSaveMe
No comments:
Post a Comment