I Am The Change

"Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
 Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
 We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
 There are things that we can have, but can't keep

 If they say, Who cares if one more light goes out?
 In a sky of a million stars
 It flickers, flickers
 Who cares when someone's time runs out?
 If a moment is all we are
 We're quicker, quicker
 Who cares if one more light goes out?
 Well I do"

One More Light - Linkin Park 

 

If you have previously read this blog, you already know I have blogged, recently and in the past,  about the suicide deaths of celebrities. These were celebrities whom I enjoyed their contributions to the world of entertainment whether music, television or movies. Maybe more now because of understanding my battle with Persistent Depressive Disorder, the deaths of Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington and Anthony Bourdain. really resonated with me. 

Maybe it was the false hope, more so with the first three, that the deaths of such celebrities would help people realize that this is more common than most people like to believe. Well, with Anthony Bourdain, I have noticed a bit more urgency from many, including CNN, to keep the discussion going. Just the other night, CNN conducted a Town Hall on the subject of suicide and it included amazing speakers. 

I do realize that sometimes it takes the unsuspecting suicide death of a celebrity to make people realize that this is a topic that needs an open and honest discussion. But as much as these suicide deaths affected me, I do blog about this more on a personal level............. 

And it has nothing to do with my own personal battles with depression......

 

One year ago today, my cousin, just a few years younger than me, died of suicide. Once again, it was a situation where most people would have never guessed that this person was feeling this way.  And yes, even though I had not seen my cousin in a year or two, I had the natural guilt of what I could have done especially since I was learning so much about through my battle. 

That is when I realized....the best thing I could do, in honor of my cousin and to those who have died of suicide, is bring attention to the subject and the stigma that is associated with mental health issues. I realize that we want to understand why these suicides happened, and it is unfortunate that we will never fully grasp them, but we will be better served to learn from these experiences and maybe prevent someone else from also reaching this point. That doesn't mean we stop thinking of how we might have been able able to help that person or what signs we missed, it means knowing these signs and reaching out to others we know who might be experiencing these sames things. Reaching out to these people and letting them know, it is alright to seek help and talk about it. I truly believe the biggest step to reducing this alarmingly growing trend is to break the stigma of mental illness especially given that 1 in 4 of us will be affected by a mental illness at some point in our lifetime. 

I still want everybody who reads this to go to this site, learn the 5 signs and take the pledge as it can help!

320 Chages Direction

I also hope to have some news soon how I will be continuing to bring attention to this epidemic through my racing of triathlons. 

#stopthestigma #iam1in4 #iamthchange

How Do We Make A Difference? It Starts With A Simple Jesture

"Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
 Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
 We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
 There are things that we can have, but can't keep

 If they say, Who cares if one more light goes out?
 In a sky of a million stars 

 It flickers, flickers
 Who cares when someone's time runs out?
 If a moment is all we are
 We're quicker, quicker
 Who cares if one more light goes out?
 Well I do"

"One More Light" Linkin Park  

It has been 4 days since the Anthony Bourdain died of suicide and since I have wondered, stuck here in middle of nowhere PA, how I can make more of a difference. At the same time, I am encouraged that I still see people posting messages on Facebook about being there to help or listen, but there has to be more that we can do.....

We cannot let this moment pass this time so we need to do more......

Personally, I have been blogging about my own personal battle with Persistent Depressive Disorder for a year and often wonder, other than myself, has anybody else found this blog helpful. 

I get that mental illness is not an easy topic for many people to speak about especially given the stigma of admitting you have a problem.  Well, that stigma made a mess of life and left me quite miserable and ruined any chances of true happiness I may have an opportunity to enjoy and ruined just about all relationships I have had. That was one of the main reasons I started this blog, as I hoped for the few people who read this, may learn from my mistakes and not delay realizing they have a problem and seek help. Trust me, when I admit, I reach the my lowest points but through getting help I was able to get through and feel closer to indifferent than I ever have. And from experience, there is no lower than when you feel numb and you just don't care.  

At the same time, I also wondered how I could do more and bring more attention to the epidemic that suicide seems to be in our society right now? I think one way is taking the pledge........

320 Changes Direction 

While watching the shows on Anthony Bourdain, I came across a news segment that profiled this organizing and the wife of Chester Bennington, Talinda Bennington. It was a movement started so that his death would not be in vain. If you read this blog. please take the moment to check out the website and take the pledge to learn the 5 signs of emotional suffering. I think this takes it one step further than just sharing post on Facebook!

Here are the 5 Signs:
1. Personality Change
2. Agitated
3. Withdrawal
4. Poor Self-Care
5. Hopelessness 

As I have given thought to how I can do more...... I realize my racing in triathlons might be the perfect stage for me to drive the message, I am not sure how yet, but in some way I will be using my training and racing to bring more awareness to mental illness and suicide.

I may need some help in designing the coolest kit ever!!!!

#stopthestigma #iam1in4 #iamthechange #320chagesdirection

Maybe It Is Time To Honestly Talk About Suicide

"Far from the electric floor
  Removed from the red meat market
  I look for a fire door
  An escape from the drums and barking
  Bereft of all social charms
  Struck dumb by the hand of fear
  I fall into the corner's arms
  The same way that I've done for years
  I'm trapped in a collapsing building
  Come find me now, where I hide and
  We'll speak in our secret tongues."

"The Woodpile" - Frightened Rabbit 

Before I rant, I want to share with you some statistics on suicide:

1. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US
2. Each year 44,6945 Americans die by suicide or 123 people per day! 
3. For every suicide......25 attempt suicide
4. The rate of suicide has increased by 25% in the United States over the last two decades
5. The rate of suicide is highest in middle age — white men in particular.
6. Only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major depression receive treatment
7. One in seven of those who don;t receive treatment attempt suicide

Seriously....... Just look at those statistics! 

So, can someone explain to me why, as a society, we are so afraid to talk about suicide and for that matter.....mental illness itself! 

One last statistic before my rant......1 in 4 people will experience some form of mental illness in their lifetime. 

I know I have blogged about this in the past, but why does it take the suicides of celebrities to realize that suicide is such an issue.  Within the past 3 weeks, three celebrities have committed suicide..... Scott Hutchison (lead singer - Frightened Rabbit), Kate Spade (designer) and Anthony Bourdain (chef and life explorer). 

Now for most people, the natural questions will be ....Why? How? This people had it all.... fame, fortune..... How could suicide be a possibility? 

As someone who has been diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder......I can honestly say, you will never understand the why or how, if you don't suffer from a mental issue. It is very hard to explain but I need all of you to understand, depression is something that is never cured but one learns to change thought patterns to deal with it. And unfortunately, for those that suffer from it, you never know when those demons will resurface and overwhelm the thought patterns you have worked on so hard to avoid it. And I can tell you from personal experience, those demons will always be there and they have resurfaced at the weirdest times.

So what can we do?

First, as prevalent as suicide is.......don't be afraid to talk about it in an honest manner.

Second.... be aware of potential warning signs of people who may be suffering! What are those signs ........ https://www.changedirection.org/320-changes-direction/

Third..... for those left behind.......as much as you will feeling guilty, there probably was something that you could have done, as cruel as it sounds. 

Lastly.......don't be afraid to check in on those who you think are strong!

It is an epidemic that all of us can do something to lower the frequency of success. We will never stop it all but if we can stop one person.....it is a success! 

His quote below says it all! We all have far yet to go!

#stopthestigma #iam1in4